Last night,standing upon broken shells and rocks, I could hear only the crashing pounding of the waves and the crunch of the shore underfoot. The sound of the gurgling ocean, a deep black bed of almost alluvial sand that lay between me and distant twinkling lights, purred demurely. Off, not too far, a lighthouse flashed frantically its majestic beam of light to welcome ships home. I am here for the same reason though… to come home…just that I have my own way of doing so.I walked slowly from the crushed beach to the solitary rock. Over the water and out it took me; I recall the blinding lights above that chased the stars ever further. The breathless voice of the ‘Sound’ was all I could hear over the soft thud of my slippers and the fervent patter of rain. In retrospect, I was hoping to chase away my cobwebs. In retrospect, it worked.
I sat on the rock. Looked at the ocean straight into his eyes. Disconnected,just at that particular time..from my peers, my family, my friends, I found myself for the first time embraced by someone new: Myself.
Life is and always will be, but I will not. Lasting only as long as my breaths do.When the worms find me, I want to be without regrets.I don’t like regrets. They make me weaker.
Much of my time was spent there smiling silently into the cold, salty waters that enveloped my existence. The rain bathed me, soaked me, drenched me and left me pining for more.I felt cleansed. I felt formatted.The cold wind stung my face and eyes, and made me feel spiritual. I felt connected to the larger world.
With responsibilities that I cant run away from,with relationships that have no names, with loves that cannot be described, and a purpose I wanted to define, I stood there…facing a world of vastness. A world of the ocean, the horizon, the clouds and the rain- moments that I will keep with me, forever. I stumbled back..still smiling, into a warm bed. Sleep came next.
But, now-I am awake.Fully awake. .
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